ok week sixteen of second time round

Hi guys its second time around for me, not posted in ages as been busy with home life etc.

This time im off work 16 weeks in to second try at therapy and wow im HCV negative - work are trying to get me to go back - and dont understand that i still need to complete the course of meds. I am seriously worried because first lot of treatment i worked and it rebounded at month ten after never really hitting negative - now its really working and i am convinced that itr is the lack of stress and pressure and the ability to rest when needed that is killing the virus.

Any hows hope all is well

lewis

The Yearning Tree

Hi guys how you doing? its been a while since i wrote in you in fact nearly a year has gone by. The fact of the matter is that my life has changed beyond recognition.

My treatment failed and so i am still co infected with HIV and hep c however i met an amzing man, a german called joerg and we are very much in love. We have been together nearly a year now, and although everything is fine i have given my partner Hep C and i am now supporting him through hep c treatment, so i thought i would give you an update on my thoughts, feelings our ups down and the best thing of all a little bit of fantasy.

I have called this section the yearning tree, because although everything is great, i wish i earnt more money, i wish joerg hadnt got hep c and i wish in general that we could have the things that we fight so hard for, so im going to sprinkle a little bit of my special brighton fairy dust on this section and incluse some short stories, poetry and just a little bit of kinky fantasy on a life less ordinary so i hope you like. speak soon my fellow peeps, see you soon.

brighton Pride 2007

wow

PRIDE:a becoming or dignified sense of what is due to oneself or one's position or character; self-respect; self-esteem.

ok guys well it was brighton pride on the 4th of august and oh what a day it was!

The theme this year was musicals so i thought it was appropriate to post the picture of the part of the parade where there were about 50 dorothys! singing yellow brick road lol. it was a sight!

The parade also encompassed floats with the lion king, rocky horror show, and my personal favourite, the phantom of the opera!!!

About 150,ooo people attended and it always ends up at preston park where there are bars, a fair ground, a chill out area and glorius food.

On the saturday there was a street party in the evening, people were dancing naked on the bus shelters lol and the sunday was a more civil affair with stalls and bbq's all in all a fab weekend.

It was such a great day guys, and is everything that brighton stands for diversity , tolerance and above all respect for fellow humans.

Love is a human right

hugs

lewis

x

giving, getting, going

ok i havnt wtirrten in my blog for a while, so this could be a long one!

Unfortunately for me the Hep C treatment hasnt worked, i managed 32 weeks of treatments but apparently the virus had reappeared after 20 weeks in to treatment.

As you have probably gathered it sent me rather loopy, but since i have stopped treatment i have come back more or less to my normal self.

Because the hep c was caught in the accute phase i dont have any liver damage and the hospital are keeping a close eye on my. Apparently they dont get many people like me - go figure.

So what have i been up to? Well i have been enjoying the return of my life really, i have been on a few dates, which has been nice, but strange, and going out with friends, and although i shouldnt have i have been partaking in a few drinkies.

But things are quieting down now, and the old things that used to bother me have returned, my weight has returned with avengence but unfortunaltely i am learning that i cant get away with eating cheesecake anymore, and now that i am not struglling through combination therapy, i am struggling with all the old habbits, smoking, being bored with my job, and generally being a grumpy old git!

This has taught me alot, gosh i didnt realise how nutty i had actually got while on treatment and god do i value my sanity! The hospital have asked me to set up a support group which i intend to follow through on.

I have been on the commercial side of health care for 10 years, and after my experience it is time to give something back. I am dealing with the hep c nurse at the moment to see what we can get organised, because there isnt a gropu in brighton.

And you might wonder what the picture is of above, well its a drawing of part of the village that i was bought up in in worcestershire, a little known place called inkberrow in worcestershire. I thought it was appropriate, because the hep c experience has truley bought me and my family closer together.

I have just had the most lovely weekend, i drove to shrewsbury and went to a gathering of the online support group, next time i will bring a camera, it was lovely to meet you all. I was nervous when i met you all, but within a couple of hours started to feel at home, next time i want to spend more time to get to know you all, but being in the midlands i felt the need also to go and see my family and my little nephew, who is just sooooo cute!

So just to finish off, just to let you know my post treatment hep c belly is growing, so i am doing the half marathon for the sussex beacon HIV charity in brighton. Raise some money and loose weight. I am dusting off my trainers, getting back in touch with my trainer and lets see what happens. i may have a couple of the nastiest bugs known to man, but it aint going to stop me moving forward. This new positive outlook is primarily due to certain members on the forum and family and friends, who without you all, i dont think i would still be here.

Life is strange and interesting, you start out when your younger thinking you can shape your life, but in the end its your life that shapes you. x

hugs

lewis x

back to work!

well its saturday morning, and ive had my first week back at work sice going off sick at the beginning of may!

It hasnt been that bad, but again i havnt worked that hard, really spent the time doing paperwork, and seeing a few customers.

Next week is going to be the real challenge, this is when i have loads of appointments, seeing clients and business meetings, so we shall see how it goes!

My boss was out with me on thursday and told him exactly what i had got, he stated that if im starting to feel crap, i need to tell him, he would rather me have the odd day off sick, rather than getting chronically fatigued and having 4 weeks off. So things could be on the up.

My boss has historically been very bad deaqling with sickness, but think occupatonal health have got to him.

I can tell you it is quite weird having the ogre be nice!

hugs

lewis

xx

a bit of light refreshment

Gosh i wish i had a cock that big hehe!

Ok has some bad news on wednesday afternoon, my hep c viral load has shot back up and am seeing the hep c nurse this morning.

It is strange, but i think i might be slightly relieved as well as a mixture of guttedness!

I have not been a complete angel on medication and some might say you silly bugger, but to be honest on the whole i have tried my best.

I work on my own, and live on my own, and so now and again have gone out and had a mad week end. This has involved the odd drink and other intoxicating substance, but i have dealt with alot of shit since july last year and it has been my coping mechanism, my pressure gage.

I have shut myself away enough over the last six months, because medication has made me uncertain, insecure and lacking in confidence. Most of the time i have been scared of leaving the house and had turned into a paranoid nutter.

By going out and having a little shandy or two i have been able to deal with social issues and get out the house for a change, it has been my relief, my steam release.

But now im faced with the news that my viral load has shot up. The nurse thinks it is due to other medication i am on which has stopped the hep c medication working, so they are going to do another pcr test this afternoon.

So what are the choices i face right now?

Well tonight im due to do my 29th shot, which means i have 20 weeks of hep c meds left.

I think the questions i need to ask are the following

1) if i am a little angel completely and utterly for the next 20 weeks, am i going to be driven mad by the isolation and am i going to clear the virus?

2) I have now changed my other medication so will this make a difference to the hep c med effectiveness.

3) At 12 weeks i was not undetectible, but had had a 2 log drop as required?

4) Am i classed as a slow responder and if so would they consider 72 weeks of treatment?

5) The nurse said this could be a false result could it be? how likely is this?

well i dont think i have been that big a cock, but you decide!

hugs

lewis

xxx