Gosh i wish i had a cock that big hehe!
Ok has some bad news on wednesday afternoon, my hep c viral load has shot back up and am seeing the hep c nurse this morning.
It is strange, but i think i might be slightly relieved as well as a mixture of guttedness!
I have not been a complete angel on medication and some might say you silly bugger, but to be honest on the whole i have tried my best.
I work on my own, and live on my own, and so now and again have gone out and had a mad week end. This has involved the odd drink and other intoxicating substance, but i have dealt with alot of shit since july last year and it has been my coping mechanism, my pressure gage.
I have shut myself away enough over the last six months, because medication has made me uncertain, insecure and lacking in confidence. Most of the time i have been scared of leaving the house and had turned into a paranoid nutter.
By going out and having a little shandy or two i have been able to deal with social issues and get out the house for a change, it has been my relief, my steam release.
But now im faced with the news that my viral load has shot up. The nurse thinks it is due to other medication i am on which has stopped the hep c medication working, so they are going to do another pcr test this afternoon.
So what are the choices i face right now?
Well tonight im due to do my 29th shot, which means i have 20 weeks of hep c meds left.
I think the questions i need to ask are the following
1) if i am a little angel completely and utterly for the next 20 weeks, am i going to be driven mad by the isolation and am i going to clear the virus?
2) I have now changed my other medication so will this make a difference to the hep c med effectiveness.
3) At 12 weeks i was not undetectible, but had had a 2 log drop as required?
4) Am i classed as a slow responder and if so would they consider 72 weeks of treatment?
5) The nurse said this could be a false result could it be? how likely is this?
well i dont think i have been that big a cock, but you decide!
hugs
lewis
xxx
5 comments:
Hi Lewis,
you're not a complete cock, just human. But man, you've gotta try and act like an angel for a while, you can do it. I know it must be hard, being on your own and all during tx - i couldn't have handled it all on my own - happy to admit it.
But you CAN be a well-behaved angel for a short period of time - come on man, I'm pulling for you.
Hugs
Lau and family
I've browsed through most of your blog (boy, was I angry with that american!) You fought well all this time.
OK, you´re young and live alone, and I know that´s hard, but please do take care of yourself! Be an angel for this short time, like Laurie said.
hep CC (old lady keeping fingers crossed for you)
Hey Lewis...none of us are angles...not one of us.
A well behaved cock is better than a naughty angle...if you know what I mean...I've had 'Shandies' and 'Intoxicating substances' (not on tx mind) and I'm still here.
You do what you gotta do Lewis...
Jaex
%^&, what news, Lewis :( Wanna reach right through the 'net and give you a big hug. It's so damn hard,and I imagine even harder when your having the mouth problems, too, on top of everything else. Honestly, what helps me is to remind myself every single day that it's only a little bitty piece of time in the BIG scheme of our lives, well, that what I look in the mirror and say - don't know if everyone is as easily convinced as I am though :) Hopefully the other meds adjustment will help nip this setback in the bud and you'll see your VL plummet again. keeping you in my thoughts! xxxxx,
Lewis - how are you doing today? Hope you're hanging in there...do let us know what your dr says and what you decide to do. Am thinking of you every day and sending big xxx
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