lord of the universe, medical reps and the very occaisional chocolate bar

Well back at work tomorrow, i have really needed this week off, as the psychological effects of the meds was really taking its toll.

Have had the week relaxing chatting with friends, but generally being a slob lol.

I am starting to feel more myself although i dont know how i will feel when i get up tomorrow for work as this week has really taken the pressure off!

I have some work to do today as still havnt sent of invites for my meeting so that is imperitive today.

Thought the comic strip was appropriate as its little calvins imagination he is of course lord of the universe, but of course a dark lord and overseer lol. Well i dont feel lord of the universe, but certainly more in control of how im feeling and how the meds are going to effect me.

I am only at work for 4 days this week then on holiday till the thirtieth of march with my american friend www.orangepaperbike.blogspot.com, really hope it goes well as havnt seen him in nearly two years, and i know hes been going through a lot of change, i know i certainly havelol.

So seeing the GP tomorrow to see if i need to sort out anti depressents so i can cope with work and med side effects, we shall see what happens.

After all no experiences in life should be wasted or regretted if it adds to the person you are.

Big Hugz

leatheradventurer.

negative earth

Ok, i had just written a humerous masterpiece, but with the lack of fisherprice buttons on my computer i wiped it before saving. Clever!

Had my shot of interferon last night, and went to the dinner party, and it was lovely company, but alas my dream man still remains exactly that, a dream........ maybe i should start a relationship with my reflection in the mirror, my friends cat seems to love it!

For the last few weeks now i have been having trouble waking up, now im usually a morning person waking up 5 minutes before the alarm at 6am, springing out of bed like a russian ballet dancer, making my breakfast and lunch, and getting in the car by 7am while still managing to forge a renoir and make a lifesize copy of the statue of libeerty.

Recently its been " aghhh god no", going back to sleep waking again at 8am going "shit shit shit", while rushing to the car still with toothpaste on my face , and generally running over the lolly pop lady at the end of the road, convinced that her sign she holds in her hand, reads" your late, run me over dont worry!" She's so selfless!

So on my week off ive been letting myself wake naturally usually about 9.30am, but TODAY; SATURDAY! i wake at 5am, after dreaming that i was blowing up the Brighton Grand like the IRA did in the 80's. If only id managed to blow up Margaret Thatcher i would be a happy man.

So i am sat on the sofa watching Kids Tv like spongebob squarepants and Kim possible. Which is actually quite an inspiration. The people that created these shows must have done some serious psychadelic shit and still they have made millions! There is hope for me yet! Think im going to do another shot of interferon - just for medicinal perposes obviously!

links and injections

Ok just want to say thank you to all the support from people in the hepc forum, i feel like my luck is in!

Im just about to do my 18th/19th injection i forget which, because my head is so .......sorry think i have amnesia! Who am i, why am i sat infront of this screen.......only joking! ha had you didnt i?

ok may be not!

Meant to be going to dinner party tonight, with friends but ill see how i feel after shot, mind you it should be ok, because 2 of them are also on treatment, so we can be nutters together.

I am trying to put links on my profile at the moment but you will have to bear with me, as ive read the help edited the html, but its just taken the standard google links off there.

Where is that representative from google, surely he will be knocking on my door any minute to help me, surely disney bunnies can sort out my computer for me, and snow whitesque birds will be bringing my interforon shot to me............... oh thats right,......... i remember............ i got up this morning, shot them, made a fir coat, and the birds are now locked in cages being force fed, thats right fois gras tomorrow!

( i do not condone fois gras and the way it is made, but boy it is delicious!)

Anyway apparently my luck is in so maybe ill meet the man of my dreams at this dinner party, hope he is similar to the guy above...... i can offer him a a bar of cadburies whole nut!

The Death Star Has Landed

Have woken up this morning, feeling like a puddle on the floor, my motivation has left the building, looked out the window this morning and several pigions dropped dead on the patio simply from looking at them! Wonder if i could have the same effect with my iranian neighbour who kept me awake till 2 am last night listening to his rhythmic shagging and his girlfriend occaisionally shouting "ahh ya bastard" and then " love it".

Mind you that guy's got stamina i was exhausted just listening to it!

My eminant national key opinion leader in respiritory medicine has confirmed that he can speak for us at my meeting in April - the fucking bastard, why did he have to get back to me so quickly im off sick for christs sake, now i have to walk over to the other side of the room, turn on the computer and issue some brilliance and genious in the form of an insightful and educating briefing document. Added to that i also have to issue 350 invites. Fucking wanker lol

I feel that i am turning bitter, i don't mind twisted because ive always been that, or even old and cynical, i quite fancy this, because i can look down on younger people and say with all my vast life experience i conclude that you are stupid, the relationship you are in is thwarted, and your parents secretly hate you! With an air of authority when i dont actually know shit.

I think i am going to invest in a shop mobility cart, and a mahogany cane with a silver tip, so i can run small children over, or at least when passing them stab at their ankles causing wounding and possible paralysis, which means later on in life they will also be investing in shop mobility carts and possible walking canes.

See invest in the future! I can imagine it now, a wonderful hoarde of glistening red metalic carts with bitter old farts driving around running children over, and generally causing havock. My own gang of hells old gits ruining lives like dr whos darleks.

And when my friends have aked me what i have done today? my reply will be " oh nothing much........IM JUST TAKING OVER THE WORLD!!!!!!!!"

(Warning - interferon/ribivirin, can cause pregnancy, obesity , a strange obsession with chocolate cheesecake, a love of cliff richard and electric shock treatment - batteries not inclided!)

The GOG INDEX

May i first say, that i cannot take this as my original work it is purely from the hepcforum

I am pleased to announce my latest contribution to medical science. Due to the lack of a convenient and user-friendly scale to quantify the psychological effects of interferon/ribavirin treatment, I have developed the following.

For convenience this may be referred to as the 'Grumpy Old Git' or 'GOG' index. It operates on a scale of zero to ten, with benchmarks as follows.

0 - Elated. Something odd has happened. Possible lottery win, proposition from attractive virgin, or announcement of SVR. Otherwise very worrying.

1 - Cheerful. Having a good day. Last day of treatment, or announcement of EVR, otherwise slightly worrying. Treat as temporary insanity.

2 - Normal. Nothing out of the ordinary to report.

3 - A Bit Down. Not quite the normal person, but not shouted at the dog or kids (yet!)

4 - Quiet. A bit irritable and easily upset. Dog and kids wary. Approach with caution.

5 - Grumpy. Downright anti-social. Dog and kids reluctant to occupy same room. TV now a smouldering heap on the front lawn.

6 - Steaming Gently. Throws a wobbly at the slightest disturbance. Dog and kids reluctant to occupy same house. Postman approaches with trepidation. Computer has joined TV on front lawn.

7 - Withdrawn. Sullen, moody and depressed. Dog and kids leaving home. Postman refuses to call. Partner considering emigration. Neighbours calling estate agents.

8 - Depressed. Introspective and aggressive. Taxi drivers and busses refuse to drive up street. Police patrol nervously in threes.

9 - Suicidal. Seriously depressed. If there was a gun to hand a funeral would be needed. Offers of free ammunition from neighbours.

10 - Euthanasia required. Somebody find a gun quick!

Informed readers will quickly realise the benefits of the GOG index, in that the psychological state can now be accurately conveyed in a simple number, and no longer needs lengthy explanation, thus saving precious health resources. With this in mind, the numbers have been kept to ten to prevent doctors running out of fingers.

For general guidance it is suggested that driving be restricted to levels of GOG4 and below, except for supermarket trolleys which are, of course, exempt.

Dealing with petty officials is best reserved for periods between GOG4 and GOG6, when most satisfaction can be obtained.

I fully expect the index to be universally adopted forthwith as it represents a major medical breakthrough.

i think it is so appropriate! Finally there is a scientifically validated means of measuring how off the wall ive got since starting treatment!

its foggy out there, heck its foggy in here

Ok first things first!

I may be a little devil! the picture on the previous post was taken last halloween but i dress like this every day! honest - well to be honest it usually alternates between devil and superman!

Im the one on the left taken at brighton Pride! These are some very close friends of mine, and they are all little stars!

But think i need to show you that i can actually be normal although this is usally with copious amounts of substances just to make my nervous twitch calm down! - i am only joking - that is to say there is nothing abnormal about people with facial twitches, large feet or adults that dress for the occaision! xxx

So thought id better show you a relatively normal picture lol!

thats the one on the right strangely enough!

Well am off work at the moment, woken up this morning and feel really weird, like im coming down from an acid trip but without any of the fun before hand - damn!

Have got some work to do today, i have a launch meeting for a new study thats been published in respiritory medicine for all the doctors and nurses in Brighton and Hove and should really answer my voice mails and emails to find out if the speaker has been confirmed, but everytime i look at my work mobile panic sets in. still feel the fear and do it anyway lol.

One thing to be wary of on treatment for hep c is that interferon just wipes out your levels of seretonin in the brain or can do, this is your happy hormone, everytime youve laughed at an old lady tripping up or a little kid running into a lamp post which happens quite a lot here - (must be something to do with the trip wires i set round hove) seretonin is released.

I think i dont have any at the moment its either the medication or the copious amounts of ecxtacy and raves i attended when younger! As a result im anxious, and have started having panic attacks. Its probably the meds!

Well there are two things i can do 1) either take a trip to Asda, where everyone is fat and ugly, which instantly makes me feel better, or 2) Whatch the programme Jeremy Kyle where people come on TV and talk about how they slept with their mothers sisters pet hamster and how it has ruined their life because they cant stop shopping at matalan and buying tan furry cushions! Again this instantly makes me feel better because i can look at my sofa and think aha! no tan furry cushions on my sofa! I have brown suede ones i am so mush more classy!

Anyway bettwr get on with today, think im going to buy a tan furry cushion!. x

last post before bed

ok well think im starting off well, i think but am going to start chatting a bit about hepc now, so hopefully people can use it as a resource, im also going to add links to resourse sites, and there is already a link here from www.ronmetcalfe.com/hepcforum

This is a useful forum full of people pre treatment, during and post treatment. I joined the other day, and the support ive got has been fab already, but if i can give any help out there please do not hesitate to contact me.

Just to give some facts 180million people have it world wide, 340 million have hep b, left untreated it can cause liver cirossis/ liver cancer death. god thats grim but the difference between this and other blood bourne virus's out there is this can be treated and cured, unlike HIV.

Im now into 17 weeks of treatment of 48 and its been an interesting journey so far!

Treatment at present consists of a weekly injection of pegylated interferon and daily anti retrovirals ribivirin. This is a two pronged attack the interferon boosts the bodies production of white blood cells to tackle the virus and the ribivirin stops the virus replicating.

Side effects have been interesting lol, ive had anaemia where you dont have enough red blood cells so you get tired and breathless, its interesting feeling like an 80 year old when your 31.

I have found myself doing pleasant adult things like visiting historic sites and sunday lunch rather than 10 pints a kebab and hangover, which has been great in a strange other worldy way.

In addition there is ALWAYS A SILVER LINING - ive lost a stone and a half in weight and have still been able to eat copious amounts of cadburys wholenut!

Last friday i hadnt been out on the gay scene for ages and realised i had these leather trousers hanging in the wardrobe hadnt fitted into them since iwas 26.

BINGO they fitted like a glove and i had a great night! I havnt used the name leather adventurer for nothing you know (dirty mischaevous grin).

Anyway recently other side effects have been making this merry go round more interesting, imagine being constantly stoned or have a touch of alzheimers lol i had already but its just got worse hehe.

And finally have been signed off work this week due to panic attacks and anxiety caused by the bloody interferon. Personally think it should be called an injection of interfering with normal life, but heyho!

But friends keep me sane i think but maybe the real madness is knowing your not!???

ok now im mad!

Why does technology not come with big fisherprice buttons and instructions that can be followed! I have a degree in biomedical science, am able to do numerous tests in a laboratory, have held management positions in the pharmaceutical industry, but cannot simply upload a photo on my profile.

ok panic over, 2 burritos eaten with large ammounts of mayonaise and a bigglass of red wine, now i just dont care!

Think google are conspiring against me making this blog! what i would really like is someone from google to come round say im sorry lewis let me take this photo with me, and it will be on your profile tomorrow at nine am.

I then wake up with the sun shining in, james browns i feel good playing in the back ground, and little birds flying my computer over to me snow white style to rest on my lap, mean while squirells and bunnies have made me eggs on toast and a cup of tea. I then turn on my computer go to my page and there are my phots nestled neatly among the text.


I can dream lol

hello guys

Hope im doing this right as computers and technology have never been my strong point!

Just a little something about me, at the moment im signed off work, so hence starting the blog as im going stir crazy lol! Im a gay man in Brighton Uk and try and enjoy life to the full. I was diagnosed with hep c last year and am on treatment at the moment. So i guess this blog is an outlet of how im feeling what im doing and where im going. My god i dint think i was that profound - it must be the drugs, mmmmmm!

anyway, i hope to get to know fellow bloggers, and also let you know a little wee bit about Brighton, my favourite city by the sea.

So here goes, oh and i just tried to import some photos from picassa onto the new profile, so if you see a photo of me on the tube or a rather kinky photo of me floating around in cyberspace, either laminate them or post them back with a ransom note! wink wink