The Death Star Has Landed

Have woken up this morning, feeling like a puddle on the floor, my motivation has left the building, looked out the window this morning and several pigions dropped dead on the patio simply from looking at them! Wonder if i could have the same effect with my iranian neighbour who kept me awake till 2 am last night listening to his rhythmic shagging and his girlfriend occaisionally shouting "ahh ya bastard" and then " love it".

Mind you that guy's got stamina i was exhausted just listening to it!

My eminant national key opinion leader in respiritory medicine has confirmed that he can speak for us at my meeting in April - the fucking bastard, why did he have to get back to me so quickly im off sick for christs sake, now i have to walk over to the other side of the room, turn on the computer and issue some brilliance and genious in the form of an insightful and educating briefing document. Added to that i also have to issue 350 invites. Fucking wanker lol

I feel that i am turning bitter, i don't mind twisted because ive always been that, or even old and cynical, i quite fancy this, because i can look down on younger people and say with all my vast life experience i conclude that you are stupid, the relationship you are in is thwarted, and your parents secretly hate you! With an air of authority when i dont actually know shit.

I think i am going to invest in a shop mobility cart, and a mahogany cane with a silver tip, so i can run small children over, or at least when passing them stab at their ankles causing wounding and possible paralysis, which means later on in life they will also be investing in shop mobility carts and possible walking canes.

See invest in the future! I can imagine it now, a wonderful hoarde of glistening red metalic carts with bitter old farts driving around running children over, and generally causing havock. My own gang of hells old gits ruining lives like dr whos darleks.

And when my friends have aked me what i have done today? my reply will be " oh nothing much........IM JUST TAKING OVER THE WORLD!!!!!!!!"

(Warning - interferon/ribivirin, can cause pregnancy, obesity , a strange obsession with chocolate cheesecake, a love of cliff richard and electric shock treatment - batteries not inclided!)